Don’t try this at home.

Or, perhaps, Serious Professionals Only.

I’d juiced 6 carrots and a mango. I went to get me greens. But alas! There are none! I have spring mix, which is riddled with bitter radiccio and frissee. And I had arugula. Mmm….okay….I’ll try it with the arugula, which is not bitter, but has a very distinct taste. And odor. I toss in the juice, the arugula, a banana (bananas’ll mask anything, right?), some frozen strawberries, and soy powder. Not only was it one of the most Do-Not-Eat colors I’d produced, it has a VERY strong arugula smell. Must use a straw with this one. A very long straw. The taste? peppery. I’m sure that I could work up a flavor combo that this would complement–perhaps a gazpacho smoothie–but this is not it. Waste of a good mango. I drank it, though. That’s just how far gone I am. But there is still time to save yourselves! Before you know it, I’ll be dumping beans in these babies…so strap in. Or run. Whichever.


It’s browner in person. But it totally matches my blog!


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Where’s the rum? smoothie

Mmm…this one was good. And a lovely Army green.

juice of one young coconut

juice of (use the juicer for this): 4 carrots, 1 apple, 1 mango

1/2 c frozen raspberries

1/2 c crushed pineapple

1/2 lb spinach

2 servings protein powder (I used soy protein)

tropical smoothie


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Creamy Berry Shake

Today, I tossed in some tofu instead of protein powder.

1 1/2 c carrot juice blend from yesterday

1/2 pound baby spinach

1 pound silken tofu (I use fresh stuff from the Asian market)

1c frozen mixed berries.

berry shake

Ugli, but good!

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Twilight Shake

This one is a lovely crimson color. Blood red, hence Twilight Shake. Ask your teenaged daughter to explain.

I had to make some juice this morning. I juiced 6 carrots, 4 kiwi, and 2 apples. from this:

juicing ingredients

to this:

juice and pulp

The recipe:

2 c carrot juice blend

Juice of 1 lime

2 heads of Romaine lettuce

1 c frozen cherries

2 servings of protein powder

Blend ‘er up. You can always swap in a different green. I really like baby spinach best, but try to vary my diet a bit. I find romaine to have a slightly fluffy texture that I’m not wild about. But maybe it will make your heart sing.

twilight shake

Start your day drinking out of a beer glass and your day only gets better.

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To make a good smoothie, you’ll at least need a good, strong blender.  I settled on a Kitchen Aid about 9 years back.  Blender review fiends can see my difficulties on epinions–username DWG (it’s true, I’m a total attention whore, but who doesn’t need to know what I thought of Dragontales in 1999?).  It has a nice strong motor and is easy to clean.   And, apparently it comes in pink, so go get one:

kitchenaid blender pink
All the true believers use the VitaMix, though:

The nominator

Apparently, it noms things in seconds–bricks to dust with the push of a button.  It does not, however, come in pink.  Having the VM means you won’t need one of these, though:

omega 8003

(I love when they’re photographed in the wild like that) This is how I get my carrots, beets, and older kale in shape for the blender.  As I show in the Basic Smoothie post, there is a lot of pulp left over and you sure don’t want to just drink juice b/c you’d get no fiber.  It’s a really good juicer that we got so that we could make soymilk.  Turns out you can just buy that stuff in the store, though.  It also makes pasta, according to its publicist, but I’ve not gone down that path.  But when you take it apart, you can see how fun it can be…

bong and dildo attachment

Clearly, that’s a party waiting to happen.  You’ll need that green smoothie energy!

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Shamrock Shake

First, to the doubters–I SWEAR they taste good. I am no health martyr, if it doesn’t taste good, I ain’t eatin’ it. And Steve is even worse and he loves these things. But just so you don’t run away, here’s a pretty one.

luck o' the Irish!

1 can of pineapple and its juice –of course fresh is better, but who am I kidding?

about 1/2 t fresh grated ginger*

15 mint leaves

1/2 pound spinach

juice of 1/2 lemon

2 servings protein powder of choice

water or juice if needed for making it less sludgy.

This one is bright tasting, with a bit of zing from the ginger

*tip for fresh ginger–buy a chunk of ginger root and toss it in the freezer (in an airtight bag or container). It grates very easily when frozen, just use a microplane grater or wee parmesan grater.

Top o’ the mornin’ to ye!

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Sunshine smoothie

Today I was out of carrots, so I couldn’t do any juicing. I did, however, have some oj in the fridge. Hence, today’s recipe:

1 1/2 c orange juice

1/2 pound baby spinach

1 banana

1 c frozen strawberries

2 servings protein powder of choice (I used the Soy-Free Naturade again)

Blend and serve 2

breakfast stout

Breakfast stout! With a few grains of dried rice on the side if you’re lucky.

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